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I wanna be the angel
in your dreams
that grants your
wishes in the
cover of darkness.







This song is my life’s story & here’s my story:
I’ve been married for 23 yrs & just like all marriages it was good at first but people change and he is not the man I married anymore. I feel like I’ve been through hell for the past 15 yrs. I just wanna be happy again I’ve tried to work it out & I’ve tried to get myself to a point where I can leave but nothing seems to work out for me. I am here for my daughter she is my world but I also know what I need to do. I don’t love him anymore I just want out but I feel he will never let me go. I’ve given everything to this man but it’s never good enough for him I have tried several times to leave myself but without income of my own it is very hard to do. When I try to talk to him he just says he doesn’t wanna hear it so what can I do? I just hope to find a job soon and get out of this situation because I need to desperately. I don’t want pity or advice I know what is best for me & my daughter I just wanted to share a part of me.

An Observation of My Frustration: (Paranormal Fantasy)
There was a dark side to him that even though he never kept it hidden she felt he feared this side of himself. Perhaps all he needed was the warm, understanding, soft caress of a woman. A woman that wasn’t afraid of who he was and even though he had a childlike wonder his dark side was crying out to be acknowledged. She could tell he was courageous but yet afraid to let others in because of his dark thoughts. She was not scared of his thoughts she was afraid that he kept too many hidden from view. He probably thought she doesn’t know me at all she has no idea what she’s getting into but she did. She understood him more than perhaps he did himself and that scared her. His childlike innocence and wit seduced her everytime he let it show. She was afraid he had more power over her then she realized. She wanted to run but her feet were firmly planted, she wanted to forget him but her heart would not agree, she knew he would just hurt her but still she remained, she knew perhaps he would never love her as she did him but his spirit magnetized hers. She felt helpless to resist even though she tried desperately. His body was  a beacon & his eyes seen clear to her soul. Every thought he uttered touched her feminine virtue so deeply it felt like shockwaves running through her veins. Her blood raced like lightning every time he was near. She was helpless to fight his male essence it was powerful & strange, exciting & dangerous, orgasmic & sensual, he made her abandon her senses & weakened her defenses. Even though she had never touched him she could feel him his mind seduced her senses & her innermost desires played out every night as she lay down alone thinking of him it was dangerous to let her mind take over because every nerve in her tingled with delight at the very thought of him. She could not explain what drew her to him like a moth to a flame when she knew she was just one of his many female admirers & her mind told her to let go. Perhaps it was her adventurous nature to be drawn to dark, demented things & she knew every man had a dark side & she was courageous enough to face it that did not deter her. For she knew even the most restless beast could be soothed by her tender touch. There also was another side to him that she knew she needed his tender, attentive nature was something she never had before that childlike innocence & caring huge heart of his was no secret either that is why she knew if she didn’t try she would regret it. The mere thought of him made her flush all over & his eyes there was no hiding her feeling from his eyes they made her transparent to him she knew it so how could she hide her feelings? how could she run? she had no where to hide. She knew just one touch from him if they ever met & she would be helpless she was never one to be vulnerable to anyone but with him her resistance melted away effortlessly & she knew she would be defenseless in his presence because it happened every time. She knew it wasn’t logical to follow the path that led to him but she didn’t care every other part of her ached for him helplessly. An endless ache that she knew all too well & she knew what she had to do.

Just some advice ladies:
I’ve loved very few men in my life I’ve only had 2 serious relationships but within that time I know one thing is for sure If a man wants you nothing can keep him away but if he doesn’t nothing can make him stay. Don’t make excuses for a man’s behavior he knows what he wants don’t ever let them fool you. There is nothing more precious than the love of a good man and a good man deserves the best if he doesn’t get it he goes elsewhere so cherish what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had. That goes both ways too.

Expressing my thoughts about a very special guy

Maybe it is hard for you to understand but I do care
about you sincerely. I see so many girls liking you
for superficial things like your money, status, and
looks. I just hate to see you hurt by these girls.
Though that may seem silly to you it just means
that I care very much.
One of these days you may want something deeper.
For me love isn’t about the
superficiality Love has to be deeper for me.
Maybe someday you will understand that I
really do care. I know you value your freedom
and I understand that cause I do too.
Just realize I like you for so much more then
what’s on the surface your personality & sense
of humor are so unique & rare that I know
there will never be another for me. I know
you aren’t very interested in what
I say or do but I need to express my feelings
too. I respect your privacy I just wish you
would let me be your friend. Just know
if I didn’t care I wouldn’t be here for you.
I know we have different views on some things but
there is also many similarities between me &
you as well. I am not sure why I am even writing
my feelings down because I feel you won’t see
them anyway but I have to write my feelings down it
is the best way for me to express them. Maybe
someday you will read this and realize it is
about you because I haven’t been exactly shy about
trying to let you know how I feel. I wish you
nothing but love and if you find that special
girl she better treat you right because you
deserve the best love has to offer.

Just some incite about me:

I am a Christian but I am also a true friend if you ask for my opinion I will give it to you, truth and all, I will not comfort you with a lie I cannot lie I am open & honest. I cherish my friends but I trust very few. If I sense something about someone I cannot trust or have a bad feeling about them I will not associate with them. I have a good sense of character but I haven’t trusted it in the past & that is why I am not open to many people. My experience is why I am reserved about getting to know someone. I have been hurt too much in the past. I will say if you  like me fine but if not you don’t have  to talk to me. I am cool with that to each their own Live and Let Live. The biggest stereotype about religious people is that we are judgmental but I will say if someone is a true Christian they will know the Bible says Judge Not Lest You Be Judged. I believe there is only one judge and that is God. I don’t care how you live your life or what choices you make I am here to be a friend if you need one I offer my advice but I don’t know everything and I don’t pretend to know everything. You can either take my advice or leave it. If You ask I will offer it. I am very compassionate & kind to those I know, I respect everyone even if I don’t get the same in return. Most people think they know me but I have very few close friends that know the real me. People will always judge others anyway, but I just want to say I have tried to fit in with many social groups but I am not the type to fit in I was born to stand out I have a strong personality and some take that as having an attitude or being heartless when that is not me at all. I am very passionate, determined & stubborn but I am also sincere, warm, kind and caring. Maybe if you would try to get to know me maybe you would see it too. I am me I can only be me whether you like me or not is for you decide but I can say once we are friends I am loyal, kind and caring & I will go out of my way to help you out. I feel at times very alone & misunderstood but I know I can only be who I was meant to be it is very hard for me to find a kindred spirit but the ones who fly solo often have the strongest wings & so I accept that with trials comes strength & everything happens for a reason but what is meant to be will be & I believe that with all my heart. I won’t beg anyone to be my friend & I have a hard time approaching new people I like intelligent conversation so if you want to talk to me engage me in a conversation I don’t chase after anyone I like people to come to me but sometimes my strong personality makes people feel I am unapproachable but I am not but that is one of the draw backs of having a strong presence so I accept that. 

I’ve cared about very few men but when I care no matter what they do or say I still love them. I have cared about the wrong man many times but as a woman I know what I need and what I can give to the right man even if he doesn’t feel the same. Sometimes in life you learn to give space where space is needed because in the end whatever is meant to be will still find a way. My love like me is one of a kind but it is hard to even get me interested because I don’t get interested very often but I also know when to let go. Love can’t be forced or manipulated and I will never do that. I need to know that man cares or is interested and if he doesn’t show that I will not linger very long. In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make…..

I just wanna say Respect is a very small word but it means so much...


I have noticed a lot of fans get upset because a celebrity doesn’t try to get to know them or talk to them or tweet them back or what have you so I will say this: Every celebrity has a private life and personal friends, that part of their life should be kept private. When you’re a fan of someone…

Sharing My Feelings About a Special Man Because I need to

I rarely share my deepest thoughts but when I do I have to write them down…..sometimes it seems no one understands me but writing helps me clarify and put my feelings out there that is why I write poetry….So this is my thoughts about a very special man maybe this will let him know how I feel and maybe by chance he will read it because it is all true every word….

I may not be a spirit but I am very spiritual

I may not be a manifestation but I can help you manifest your dreams.

I may not be a demon but I can help drive your demons out.
I may not be darkness but I can be your light.
I may not be a physic but I can psych you up…
This man tested her every day but she was determined.
For all the pain and hurt he endured she wanted to make it better, she wanted to be the comfort and security she felt he needed.
She wanted to taste the very sweat from his brow, she wanted
to caress his body with every inch of her womanhood and
the desire only grew each day. She wanted to turn his
nightmares into sweet sensual dreams, his sexual thoughts and fetishes into full throttled fantasies and make them all come true.
She wanted to be everything this man needed without even
worrying about her own needs. She could not understand why she could not ignore him or just move on without this man. It was as if her very soul thirsted for only him to fulfill her, because without him her soul would surely die.  It was if she was a rose withering in the desert that only thirsted for one sweet drink of this man’s essence.  Unquenchable. incurable, and incomplete she surely was.
She wanted to awaken all of his senses with a pure unconditional love that she knew only she could give.  His blue heavenly eyes touched her libido so deeply it was if he could see right through her.
His hair black as night, loving arms, intelligent mind and huge heart made her melt like the dew on a rose on a hot humid morning evaporating her inhibitions effortlessly. The passion she felt for him was so deep it felt like it was running through her blood pumping faster and faster each time he was near. She could not ignore her feelings because it was if they would jump right out of her if left hidden. Desire would fill her loins like a burning candle engulfing the soft tissue until it was a molten mass every time she thought of him. She could feel his presence and she could never run away though she wanted to. She knew her chances were slim but this one time she felt her heart would gladly break if only to be with him because the urge was so powerfully present every time he would get near. 
When you love a man so much it scares you I know it is hard to explain but sometimes you just know when something is right, something fits like it never did before. She wanted to be the safe haven he knew he could always return to no matter how long apart they were, no matter what he did or his life would bring. She wanted to be the one who would understand when no one else would.
She cherished this man and she barely knew him. It is so hard for anyone to understand but this is what she was feeling deep down in her soul and it was so hard to explain to anyone. 
He awakened every part of her being it seemed and though she knew
it was hopeless that he would ever consider being with her deep down
in her soul the gnawing ache grew even stronger every day to try. 

I feel sorry for this whale and I understand how she feels sometimes poor thing I feel no one understands me sometimes too

More of Enrique on Dick Clark’s New Years Eve Special 

My New Years Resolution

My new New Years Resolution no more love relationships with men I’ve had it with them all….

Why are men so clueless?

I love how men like little girls then they wonder why they end up with a little bitch men are clueless when you want a REAL WOMAN let me know. You little girls can have them. Experience makes you a real mature woman nothing else. 

Best Part of the show thank God for Enrique being there and Billy Joel

Happy New Year to All

Wishing Everyone A Blessed New Year, may success, happiness and prosperity be yours. I know most people never keep their Resolutions but I only hope to be a better person next year then I was this year, wiser and happier. One sure thing you can always say about life It Goes On. I wish all my friends the happiness that you deserve in this life. Much Love to All.  ♥ XOXOXO ♥

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